I was working as hard as I could. Staying up late, working on days off, burning the candle on both ends. I didn't let my mind turn off. I was always thinking about my work. I had a responsibility and I was going to take it seriously. I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to let the Lord down.
And then I got sick.
Too sick to work. Too sick to speak. And everything came crashing down.
What was I thinking, that I was going to make it? That I was going to do enough to... to... what? Keep guilt away? Keep all the rules? Satisfy God's perfect expectations?
What was I thinking? Because no matter what I do. No matter what you do. No matter what anyone does - it is never enough. I cannot do enough, not in a thousand lifetimes, not in a thousand retries. Not me. Not you. Not anyone.
But Christ wasn't anyone. He was the One. God's Chosen One. His One and Only Son, whom He sent to do what we could not. Christ didn't have to work to keep the guilt away, He came to take your guilt away in His own death on the cross. He didn't have to run from the rules, He came to fulfill the rules for you in His own perfect life. Christ lived One lifetime, but did it for thousands. And where we could never do enough, His Godblood is more than everything - greater than everything - and satisfies everything for all people for all time.
God offers you forgiveness. A perfect record. A free ride in His Son. Yes, you will continue to do your best in this life, but not for yourself - not so you can satisfy God or keep guilt away - but for the sake of your neighbour. Christ has satisfied God for you. Christ has taken your guilt away. Now you are free to serve your neighbour in love. You are free to live the way God intended without fear or coercion or guilt.
No, what you do will never be enough. But Jesus is more than enough, and He is yours by faith.